Whew, my second time out to deliver gifts to children who are
in the foster care system and are in need of something extra. There should be less apprehension about the
whole process now that I have some experience.
I had connected with the foster mom a couple weeks ago by
phone to ascertain what the kids might need.
Already I am amazed that four siblings have been placed in this foster
home –Alice age 9, James age 6, Lisa age 5 and Chelsea age 3. I had heard it can be difficult to place
sibling groups, so finding these four together in one home starts my journey on
a hopeful note. The other addition to my
journey is that my dear husband, Sam is now an approved volunteer of San
Bernardino County’s Children and Family Services. It is not an easy process but he persevered
when his fiancé signed him up. I am not
sure he knew what he was actually getting himself into but after an interview, fingerprinting,
background check, physical exam and drug test he became the navigator for this
delivery.
As I arrive at the locked gate a little apprehension sets
in. I remember that during our phone calls to set up this meeting, I had
significant trouble understanding the foster mom. Between her thick accent and my diminished hearing,
I felt like I was guessing at what she really said. Now, I was hoping that we
could communicate enough for the exchange of gifts and that I could convey the
same warmth and appreciation as I had done with the previous caregiver. I am
praying that a smile transcends words and good intentions count.
After ringing the bell, I am greeted at the gate by a small
dark skinned man that I would later learn is the foster dad. He doesn’t seem to have a clue who I am or
what I am doing there but opens the gate when I ask for Kim. At his call, out comes a big smile owned by
mama Kim who welcomes me into their home home with an accent that I am
guessing is from somewhere in Africa. Kim is a colorful woman with large expressions and a laid back style. Inside is a simple yet inviting family room
with evidence of young children and filled with the smell of dinner cooking in
the kitchen that adds to the feeling of home.
Four curious children are watching my every move. I introduce myself only as Sharalyn and say
that I have brought them some presents.
Instantly there is an 9-year-old girl hugging my waist. She has no idea what kind of presents I have for them as they are still in my trunk. She
has no idea from where I have come or why I am doing this but she is hugging
me. She has no idea what her hugs mean
to someone who didn’t grow up hugging.
She seems only to know she wants to hug me. If she is not careful she is going to melt my
heart and all the boundaries I put up around it.
Mama Kim walks with me to the car and we return with Sam
and four large bags of gifts. James hollers
out, “new backpacks!” And I am thinking,
“Oh NO!” Mama Kim told me that she had
just purchased a new one for James so he did not need one. We had purchased colorful new backpacks only
for the girls. No worries –he was
instantly happy to receive a bag of presents so large he cannot carry it. Sam and I tried to give out the gifts in some
orderly fashion but regardless of our best efforts chaos ensues. Clothes are
everywhere and toys are already being opened.
Twinkling eyes, rosy cheeks, laughter and joyful voices call out with excitement
for each other. There is no jolly old elf, bells or mistletoe
but it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Their foster dad watches as he leans over the breakfast
bar. I think he was attending to dinner
preparations but the excitement is too hard to resist. The older two kids call out the treasures
they find. Mama Kim, Sam and I try to keep some order as we go through the bags with the children. I am sure there is a better way to do this if
I think about it, but their joy takes over and the kid in all of us just gives way to their excitement. Sam gravitates to James –it is a
boy thing and they begin to go through the books and on to the box of miniature
cars and trucks. 5-year-old Lisa needs
help to untangle the hangers so she can see all her new clothes and I watch Alice
help Chelsea go through her bag until they find a book about cats. “Chelsea
loves Cats! ” announces Alice with glee. “I will help her read it.” If I had any doubt, it is certainly clear now
that Alice has learned to take the role care giver –looking after the babies. She is
a girl after my own heart.
For all that is unfair about it, it is just what we do. We are called to look after the young and the
vulnerable. It is the circle of life,
the survival of the species and the call of civilized societies. It is a creation story written in every
language and in every culture. It is in
the sacred texts of every religion. God
calls us all to care for the vulnerable and who is more vulnerable than
children who have been removed from their homes and the familiarity of family
in order to protect them from abuse and neglect?
The Christmas story begins with the divine born into this
world as a vulnerable child, whose very life depends on the care and provisions
of family and strangers alike. But in no
time at all, it is the child who has taught the world the meaning of existence and
given us the key to eternity. Four
little kids brought the meaning of Christmas to me that afternoon.
May I be worthy of the lessons they have taught me.
The names of the children have been changed to protect their identity. The last thing I would want to do is to
exploit the blessings of their trust.
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